Goal

This morning I stepped on the scale and saw my goal weight looking back at me. At a mere nine months and five days after my surgery, I have reached the weight I dreamed of last Spring as a distant hope. I thought that I might possibily reach this weight by my birthday in April 2012, if I was lucky, but suspected that it would more likely take till the following summer. But even up to five or six months post-surgery it was more of a hope to me than a real possibility. Somewhere in the past three months, I came to realize that I truly was losing the weight and I truly would be able to reach my goals. I can't pinpoint a specific time or a specific incident that happened to give me this mindset - maybe it was doing that 5K in October - but somewhere along the way I just knew that it was actually going to happen. Now I know that I really am the person I used to be before the weight gain started in my mid-30's. Many of the people I meet tell me that by losing 128 pounds I have lost a whole person, and that certainly is true. As I was reflecting on this just yesterday, I came to an enlightening realization. By losing myself, I have truly found myself. I feel more like ME - like the real Jeanette - than I have felt in years, and the "old" overweight/obese person that I was feels like just a bad dream. What I mean is that I remember all my experiences, but I can't remember - I can't really realize - that I had them as that huge person I see in those "before" pictures on this page. I truly don't know who the woman in that picture is anymore. What I do know is that I am me again, and I am at peace.