Goal

This morning I stepped on the scale and saw my goal weight looking back at me. At a mere nine months and five days after my surgery, I have reached the weight I dreamed of last Spring as a distant hope. I thought that I might possibily reach this weight by my birthday in April 2012, if I was lucky, but suspected that it would more likely take till the following summer. But even up to five or six months post-surgery it was more of a hope to me than a real possibility. Somewhere in the past three months, I came to realize that I truly was losing the weight and I truly would be able to reach my goals. I can't pinpoint a specific time or a specific incident that happened to give me this mindset - maybe it was doing that 5K in October - but somewhere along the way I just knew that it was actually going to happen. Now I know that I really am the person I used to be before the weight gain started in my mid-30's. Many of the people I meet tell me that by losing 128 pounds I have lost a whole person, and that certainly is true. As I was reflecting on this just yesterday, I came to an enlightening realization. By losing myself, I have truly found myself. I feel more like ME - like the real Jeanette - than I have felt in years, and the "old" overweight/obese person that I was feels like just a bad dream. What I mean is that I remember all my experiences, but I can't remember - I can't really realize - that I had them as that huge person I see in those "before" pictures on this page. I truly don't know who the woman in that picture is anymore. What I do know is that I am me again, and I am at peace.

Patient Panel

This past Wednesday night was our monthy support group meeting. This month, all three groups (Ogden, Orem, and Salt Lake) met together, and the office education team put together a panel of patients to tell about their weight loss journeys and their decision to have surgery, and to relate some of the things they have learned along the way. I was asked six or seven weeks ago to be a member of this panel, and was delighted to do so. Every time I get asked about my surgery and/or my weight loss, I am more passionate about sharing my thoughts and feelings and educating others about the importance of maintaining a healthy weight and of getting help when you are unable to do it on your own. As I mentioned during my presentation, I feel like I have been given a great gift - I got my life back - and I feel a great obligation and desire to share what I have been given and my gratitude for it.

For our support group meeting, each panel member was also asked to provide several "before and after" photos to be put into a slide show. It was very interesting to go back through the pics that are on my computer. I looked at photos of me taken over the past five years (there were not too many) and wondered "Who was that woman?" One that I sent (that didn't get used) was a wedding photo of me and Jack, and as I looked at that tiny, happy girl I realized that I could see her in the pics of me today. What a great feeling that is! Jack took many pictures of me the night of support group. I'll just share a few....

Half off

I am totally over the moon! Today I stepped on the scale and realized that I have lost 50% of my original weight. I weigh only half as much as I did at the beginning of this year! When I started this surgical journey, that was only a distant dream. It has been years and years since I weighed this little. I did hit this mark (and even dropped 3 pounds below it) when I was doing Weight Watchers 20 years ago, but I was only at this point for a month or two before bouncing back a few pounds above it.

This feels so good!!!!

My reward for reaching this stage of the game - one half of my former self - is going to be working with a personal trainer. I start tomorrow morning - wish me luck!

New hair

Awhile back I posted about my thinning hair. I thought the hair loss had stopped by about six months out of surgery. I was wrong - it picked up again around the beginning of September and just kept on falling out. :( For most of the last 20 years, I have kept my hair pretty short and either wedged or layered. During the past year or so, I let it grow out a bit - no longer than chin length, but pretty much all the same length in a blunt cut. I really quite liked the new length. However, by mid-October I had lost so much of my original hair volume (truly about 75%!) and had enough new undergrowth (now about an inch or more long), that my remaining longer hair reminded me of a bald person with a bad comb-over! Once again I went to my friend and hairdresser asking for help. I told her I thought it was time to get rid of the old length and start trying to meet the new growth. She worked her magic, and this is the result:

It's not perfectly combed in this photo, but I love the length and it looks so much better! Also, in this photo I am wearing the cute girls' size tee shirt I got at American Girl Place in Chicago last month! Yay me!

I am so pumped!

This morning I did my first 5K - the SoJo (South Jordan) 5K/Half-Marathon/Marathon. Wow - what a rush! Before my surgery 7 months ago, I couldn't even walk a block, and when I had to walk, I walked very slowly and stopped often. Today I walked 3.1 miles in less than a hour, and it felt so good! All those long walks with my granddaughter Ellie in the stroller while I was in Illinois really helped keep me in good condition for today, so thanks, Ellie Jean!

Last summer at my weight loss surgery support group meetings, they started talking about something called "The Walk From Obesity." I checked it out online, watching for the announcement about the Utah walk this Fall. When it was finally announced, I was disappointed to see that the official walk was only a half-mile - I was already walking 1 to 2 miles several times a week. Then our support group leaders told us that we could join with the SoJo run and still get credit for doing the WFO, and I started to get excited. I waited till a couple of weeks before the race to register so I would have a better idea of what size tee shirt to get. I know, I know; that sounds very vain, but I really wanted a shirt that I knew I would fit and look good for more than a month after the race. And guess what size I was brave enough to order?

Size Small!!!! And it fits!!!!

Jack and I left bright and early this morning, before the sun was even up, found a good parking spot and waited in the car till about 40 minutes before race time. By then it was light enough to see, but very chilly with a brisk wind. We stood close to the outdoor heaters till time to head for the starting line, and I moved out. Jack had brought the camera, so we have a few pics to share:

Freezing in the wind before the race

And we're off!

The last leg of the race (I'm on the right)

Down the home stretch

Crossing the finish line

It was great after the race to talk to people there and tell my story and hear their stories, as well. Oh, and the Walk from Obesity people had several prize drawings, and I won a $25 gift certificate toward any play at the Hale Center Theater! All in all, it's been a very good day!

Vacation

For the last three weeks, I have been on vacation. I now have two married kids in the Midwest - a son in Green Bay, Wisconsin and a daughter in Coal City, Illinois (just south of Chicago). Since my daughter in Illinois just gave birth to my 25th grandchild - a beautiful and precious little boy named Greyson - I decided I needed to go back there.

I had the most wonderful time! First came the plane ride. I must confess that the last time I was on a plane, I couldn't even buckle the seat belt around me. Having the armrests down on both sides was extremely uncomfortable, because I was squished between them. When I lowered the tray table, it wouldn't lay flat, but would rest against my enourmous belly. Anyone who had to sit next to me would get this "Oh no, a fat person" look when they first realized our seats were together. I really love to fly, but the "sitting on the plane" experience has not been pleasant for a long time. This time, so much was different! I sat down in my seat next to the window and giggled because I had space inside my own seat on both sides of me, even with both arm rests down. I buckled my seat belt and pulled it snug, leaving an 8 to 10-inch tail! The person who came to sit beside me actually smiled and looked relieved when he saw me and sat down. When the plane was fully airborne, I lowered my tray table and giggled again. There was a 6 to 8-inch gap between the table and my body! The person in front of me even put her seat back a couple of inches, and there was still space. Picture me smiling!

While we were there, I thoroughly enjoyed loving up my grandchildren. I snuggled that new baby close and danced and played with almost-two-year-old Ellie. Almost every day I was in Illinois I put Ellie in her stroller and walked with her for two or three miles. We saw leaves changing colors and squirrels gathering nuts and fields of dried cornstalks and flowers and birds and even baby bunnies! I am going to miss those walks with Ellie. In Wisconsin, I went to the botanical gardens and the wildlife sanctuary and walked and walked and saw more glorious things in nature with four-year-old Tabby. I talked and got better acquainted with my teenage grandsons Ben and Sam and Jack, and was even able to help celebrate Jack's 18th birthday. One interesting experience happened when Grandpa took everyone for ice cream in Green Bay. I was sitting and talking at the table with the family while they were all enjoying their ice cream, when Tabby suddenly said, "Grandma, why aren't you eating any ice cream?" So I told her that I can't eat any because ice cream will make me sick now. Later that evening, she was sitting on her daddy's lap and saying that she was feeling sick. I put two and two together, and realized I needed to explain why. So I told her that I had been in the hospital and the doctor had fixed my tummy to help me feel good, but now that my tummy was fixed, eating things like ice cream and candy would make me feel a bit sick. She decided then that she was really okay.

Too soon, it was time to come home. The plane ride home was even more fun than the plane ride out, because Jack was with me and watching the differences. Our last connection home, the plane was just over half full. I was able to curl up on two seats with my head in Jack's lap, and was quite comfortable! And, when I got up this morning and stepped on the scale, I found that I had lost six more pounds during my three weeks of vacation! How about that?

A Good Week

I intended to get this written and posted on Sunday, but as they say,"The best laid plans...."

Last week was a good week. From Sunday to Sunday I lost 3 pounds. A few months ago that would have been a normal weight loss, but at six months out from surgery, 3 pounds in one week is quite a bit. Those 3 pounds dropped my weight loss enough that I now have less than 20 pounds left to lose before reaching my goal weight.

Tuesday last week was my monthly measuring day, and I found I had lost another 9-3/4 inches (along with a 10-pound weight loss) since mid-August. Those lost inches included a 2-1/2 inch loss around my waist! My waist is now smaller than my top and smaller than my bottom for the first time in years - woo-hoo!!! I tried on the clothes in my drawers and hanging in my closet and found that (drum roll, please) the size sixteen pants and few remaining XL shirts are just way too big and baggy now. I can fit easily into the size 14 zip-front designer jeans (Eddie Buaer, Ralph Lauren, and Style& Co.) and the size 12 zip up and pleated front dress slacks and the size small pull-on warm-up pants that were tucked away with the "not-quite-yet" clothes.

One day last week I went grocery shopping with my 39-year-old daughter and was asked if we were sisters. Goodness! I am 24 years older than she is and have gray hair! I guess if the flabby skin is covered and I am smiling, I don't look like I am in my sixties.

One more thing to report. I got my hair trimmed up on Friday, as I am leaving town tomorrow for three weeks to visit my children in Illinois and Wisconsin (and see my brand-new grandson!). As Linda was combing through and cutting my hair, she commented, "It looks like you have a little buzz cut going on here underneath your longer hair!" Yay! My hair is starting to grow back in - and it is all that nice silvery white!

Yes, it was a very good week.

Six Months

It has been more than a week-and-a-half since my last update, so I need to add something here. This week, I not only had a new baby grandson born (welcome, Greyson!), but I also had my six month "surgiversary" yesterday, and feel a need to give a progress report. I have lost a total of 105.5 pounds, which is 43.5% of my original weight. My weight loss is now averaging 2 pounds a week. My clothing size continues to drop. The clothes I have now, are getting almost too loose to wear - guess it's about time for another DI (that's Deseret Industries, a local thrift store) shopping trip. My hair has stopped falling out, and I hope new hair starts growing back in soon. My health continues to hold good, and my strength and stamina continue to increase. I am still walking on an almost daily basis - no matter what the weather (when I set out on my walk yesterday evening, it was threatening rain and sprinkling a bit; before I arrived back home, the heavens had opened, and I was drenched!). I am gearing up to walk a 5K in the annual Utah Walk From Obesity, which is coming up the middle of October.

As my appetite has picked up a bit and my activity level has increased, I have been able to increase the amount of food I eat at each meal. I am now up to 3-1/2 to 4 ounces of food three times a day - still 70% protein and 30% vegetables, substituting fruit for the veggies a couple of times a week - with a 1-ounce protein snack (usually cheese or nuts) once or twice a day. I can eat basically any kind of protein and any kind of vegetables.

People whom I see on a regular basis have started asking me if I have reached my goal yet. I am getting very close. When I drop another 14 pounds, I will have reached a normal, healthy BMI of 25, and will have lost 50% of my original weight. I want to bring that BMI down to 22.5, which will mean losing an additional 8 pounds after that. So only 22 more pounds will bring me to my goal, which is 52.5% of my original weight gone.

Last Monday, I saw a picture my Mom had taken of her and her children on her 85th birthday, nearly a year-and-a-half ago. As I looked at myself so huge in that photo, I asked "Who is that woman?" My dear sister-in-law replied, "No one we know anymore." And that is really the truth. As I find myself again, I truly do not know who I was as that morbidly obese woman that I had been. I am so grateful for a doctor who said "Do it!" in response to my desperate question, "What do you think about weight loss surgery?", for the surgeon who talked to me about it and performed the surgery and all the follow-up, and for the wonderful family and friends who have supported me all the way. While I had to make the decision to go on this journey, it would have been a much more difficult undertaking to travel the road alone. Thank you all for everything!

Good News

Well, I had my every-four-month appointment with my endocrinologist this morning. He's the one who watches my diabetes and my cholesterol, triglyceride, and enzyme levels. He is also the doctor who recommended I have my gastric bypass and suggested my surgical team. Since my last visit with him was only about six weeks after my surgery, today's results (from the labwork he ordered last week) were the first to really reflect what impact the surgery has had on my metabolism. Here's what has happened in the last four months:

He didn't order cholestoral/triglyceride testing this visit, so I have no reports there. In four months my weight has dropped 53 pounds. My blood pressure has dropped from 130/80 to 114/72. My A1c test - measuring average percentage of glucose in your blood stream over the previous 2-3 month period - dropped from 7.5 to 5.0 (readings for non-diabetics can range from 4.5 to 5.7). And here's the really amazing part - my liver enzymes are now only 10% of what they measured four months ago, and are well within normal levels!

Doctor was very well pleased, and I was ecstatic!

Hair today, gone tomorrow....

Or should I say,"Hair yesterday, gone today"? One of the side effects of this surgery, is hair loss. The surgeons' guidebook/instruction manual says that a recovering patient will usually start losing hair at about three months after surgery. It states further that the hair loss should continue for a couple of months, with total hair loss reaching about one-third of the original hair volume. Regrowth would then begin at about the six-month post-surgery mark. I had read this and, intellectually, I knew that it would happen to me. But I've gotta' tell ya' that I wasn't prepared.

All my life, my hair has been very,very fine; but I have always had a lot of that very fine hair. I guess I was even a bit vain about my thick head of hair. Even when I started wearing it short all the time, and even when it went gray, I loved my hair. My gray hair was silvery white, and I loved it when so many people would tell me that I had beautiful platinum hair. It had thinned a bit with age, but there was still plenty of it. When I started losing hair by the handful about two-and-a-half months after surgery, I was a bit shocked. For almost three months my hair kept falling out. I would blow it dry after gently washing it, and a whole little cloud of silver would float down to the floor. At the end of every shower I would pull a wad of white hair from the drain grate. I was continually brushing hair from my clothes. I thought it would never stop falling out!

Finally, about two weeks ago, the hair loss began to slow down and I started losing less and less every day. I have been assessing the total damage. For one thing, instead of losing about one-third of my original hair volume, I have no more than about one-third of that beginning volume left on my head. For another thing, the hair that has fallen out has been my most beautiful platimum hair, and I am left with very fine and very thin medium blond hair shot through with darker gun-metal gray. My friend and hairdresser came up with a cut and style that will allow me to create a bit of fullness with little stress on my hair, and introduced me to hair products formulated to strengthen and help rebuild very thin hair.

In another twelve days I will reach my six-month mark, and I am waiting for the regrowth to begin. I guess I'll have to just wait and see what happens. I am hoping to have a full head of hair again by my one year "surgiversary" next March, and hoping against hope that what grows back will be that nice silvery white color that I have lost. I must admit, though, that even if my hair stays very thin and dark gray-blond, I am so happy with all the positive changes in my body that it will take a lot more than thin, non-platinum hair to get me down. It's a small price to pay for finding myself again.

Wanna' See How Much I've Lost?

I just bought new dog food this morning, and realized that my weight loss is one pound more than the combined weight of three of those big bags we buy. Since they were on sale, I bought three and Jack took some pictures. So here I am with a few visual images of those pounds that I have shed:

Look what I did!

My conquest

Sitting on the evidence

Happy lady

Just plain fun

Promised photos

100 pounds down, 28 pounds to go!

The new "old" me

One hundred pounds! One hundred pounds have gone away. I can hardly fathom that amount of weight. Let's see, that is only five pounds less than three large bags of dog food. It is two-and-a-half bags of water softener salt pellets. It is four of my granddaughter Ellie. It is 10 10-pound bags of flour. It is a whole side of pork. Wherever did that fit on my 4'11" small-boned body?

Oh yeah, take a look at my "before surgery" photos. I guess that shows it. I don't even know that woman anymore. I never did know her, really. Every time I saw myself in the mirror or in a photo, it would take me a minute to recognize that it was me. In my own mind, I was still the tiny self who used to exist. In my mind, that tiny person was the "real" me. For the past month or two, I have been able to see that real me - at least someone very similar to her - looking back at me. I still have a bit more weight to lose before she will be here truly, but I'm now a hundred pounds closer than I was at the beginning of 2011. And that is a major big deal!!!

So good-bye to that 100 pounds. Never will I see you again!

Inchworm, inchworm....

Today is the fifth-month anniversary of my surgery, and I am rapidly approaching my 100-pounds-lost mark. However, the past couple of weeks have been a bit unusual for me. I have become accustomed to losing a half-pound or so every other day, and have looked forward to stepping on the scale every morning to see what's happening. The last two weeks, however, I found myself staying at the same weight (or even going up a half-pound) 4 or 5 days in a row, then dropping a whole pound a day the next two days. It's been very confusing! Over all, I have lost 2 pounds less this past month that I did for each of the previous 2 months. I knew the speed of the weight loss would be tapering off about now, but wasn't sure by how much.

I might have mentioned before that I have been taking measurements every four weeks (Jack calls that one of his favorite jobs ;) ), just to see what's happening. After the mini-plateaus and the slightly lower weight loss, I didn't know what to expect. So today was measuring day, and when all was said and done, I discovered that I have lost another 9-3/4 inches in the past four weeks - including 2-1/2 inches around my waist! I knew there was a reason my clothes were feeling better!!!

New clothes!

Last month my friend and neighbor and soon to be sister-in-law called and asked if I would be offended if she brought me some clothes that no longer fit her. Are you kidding me? The clothes I was wearing were looking pretty baggy and practically falling off my body - I was delighted to get more. So she brought over a couple of large bags full. A few days ago she brought me another full bag. Among the stuff that fit were several pairs of pants, a couple of dresses and quite a number of shirts. All were in the size 14-16 range, with nothing that was Plus size! What a great feeling it is to wear jeans that button and zip and have no elastic in the waist - not to mention shirts with spandex! They make me feel so good about the way I look. Now that I have lost 95 pounds, it's about time!

Playing with Ellie

Ellie Jean is my youngest grandchild; she is 21 months old. Last night, her Daddy (my son-in-law) graduated - magna cum laude, I might add - from BYU-Idaho. We drove up to Idaho yesterday morning to be there for the ceremonies. After everything was over and we were waiting outside for all the members of our party to gather, I took the responsibility of watching and playing with Ellie. Did I mention that little Ellie is a pistol? Or that she is a constant mover and as quick as the proverbial "quick brown fox?" Every time I would let go of her hand, she would take off like a shot, running as fast as she could, laughing and looking over her shoulder to see if I was chasing her. And guess what! I could run and chase her!! I could catch up with her and swoop her up and spin her around and carry her and hold her close. I could hold her hands and jump up and down with her or stomp our feet on the manhole cover to make all kinds of noise. And I could do all of these things easily and without running out of breath or even breathing hard. How wonderful is that?!!!

Br-r-r-r-r

Today was a very warm day here in our high mountain desert, and yet as I sit here at my computer, I am wrapped in an afghan, trying not to freeze. One result of my surgery (and subsequent eating plan) has been feeling cold much of the time. I sit in front of the computer and I am cold. I go to church and I am cold. I go to the movies and I am cold. I go to a restaurant and I am cold. I go to work at the temple, and I am cold. I am learning to take a sweater, a sweatshirt, or a wrap of some kind with me wherever I go, and Jack is very good about warming up my cold, cold feet when we go to bed at night. After having been always hot for the past 15 years or so, it is taking some getting used to. But I guess that is one way to know that my body is working hard at fat burning - none of my energy/calorie intake (however small that may be) is working to keep my body warm. I guess I can live with that!

Don't blink!

Well, I did it again - passed right through and over another milestone without landing on it. Almost all last week (Sunday through Friday) I sat at the 88 pounds lost mark, waiting to drop those next two pounds so I could see 90 pounds gone. Finally, on Saturday I was down one more pound - 89 pounds gone. On Sunday I had lost another half pound - 89.5 pounds gone. Oh boy! I knew I was going to be right down 90 pounds on Monday morning! So when I stepped on the scale Monday morning, I was down (drum roll, please!) a full pound - a total of 90.5 pounds! Then this morning I discovered another half pound had gone missing. How is it possible? I have lost a total of 91 pounds!!! It really blows my mind....

Four Months

Yesterday, July 9th, was my 4-month "surgiversary." Four months since my rebirth to this "Brand New Day." I have lost, as of this morning, 88 pounds, which is 36% of my original weight! That just feels so incredible. I had Jack take pictures after church today.

This is me now!

Last Thursday was my 4-month checkup with my doctor. My numbers were all terrific, and he was so pleased with my progress! He told me I was way ahead of the averages and that I am doing everything right. I got some suggestions as to what to do about my hair loss (Linda, I really need to go get those Nioxin hair products - they are just what the doctor ordered!), was told to keep doing things "by the book" the way I have, and made an appointment to go back in November for my 8-month check. Yay me!!!

Some things I love

Some great things about losing weight:

Bending over while sitting down
Tying my shoes with the bow in the middle
Holding things (especially grandchildren) in/on my lap
Finding my waist
Shopping for new clothes
Wearing pretty clothes
Wearing heels
Wearing the mothers ring my children gave me
Getting compliments
Looking (and feeling) younger
Getting "checked out"
Hugging my husband
Walking to Church
Walking the dog
Walking, in general
Being physically active
Crossing my legs
Kneeling at the altar in the Temple
Sleeping without a CPAP machine
Standing without tiring
No more diabetes
No swollen ankles
No hip pain
Seeing my toes while standing
Curling up on the couch
Feeling small in a chair
Tightening my seat belt
Having energy
Weeding the garden
Doing household chores
Feeling in control
Becoming myself again
Being happy

Okay, let's try this again....

Well, I have thinking about and planning all the different posts I need to make here, and I finally told myself to just get on the computer and start again today with how I'm feeling and doing now. If I can get back and fill in the blanks sometime, I will do that, but this is today and I just need to get busy.

This morning, after two days at the same weight (not much, I know, and I'm fine with that), I stepped on the scale and found that I had dropped a pound-and-a-half since yesterday morning. That is the second time that happened in a week, and I weighed four pounds less today than I did one week ago, for a total of 83 pounds lost. I still just shake my head in amazement. I must say that I love going to Church each week; I get so many comments - so many people telling me how good I look. It is such a boost to hear those! I have a sweet young friend at Church (who grew up in Germany), whose mother comes from Germany to visit her each year. The mother and I have become good friends through these visits, as well. So I walked into Sunday School class this morning and found her mother sitting there. The last time I saw her I weighed 83 pounds more than I do now, and she was actually speechless! Then she couldn't stop telling me how beautiful I look and how much younger. I was thrilled!

One thing I need to do though is fix my skirts. A couple of weeks ago we went to church with our daughter and her family in Arizona. We all rode together in their big SUV (it was so much easier to climb up into that thing than it used to be!), and when we got there, I was sliding across the seat to the door and left my skirt behind. Literally, it slid about halfway down my rear end! Oops!!! I guess I need to tighten the elastic in that one. I am very glad skirts are so easy to adjust down a size or two.

All is well

Where, oh where, did this last month go?!!!

I am still doing great, and will get a new post up in the next day or so. For now, I will say good-night and head for bed....

Support

Last night was the monthly support group meeting sponsored by my surgeons office for their weight-loss surgery patients here in the Salt Lake City area. As I had my surgery the same day as the March meeting, this was the first I had attended since before the operation. Dr. M. spoke to us about hunger - true physical hunger and psychological hunger, and how to tell the difference. To a naturally thin person who has never had to think about this, it may be a difficult idea to grasp that someone else may not be able to tell the difference between being really hungry and just feeling that you need to eat. But those of us who were there really get it; and as I get further out from my surgery date and begin feeling the hunger that I still don't feel this soon after surgery, it will be vital for me to know and understand the difference. Two new people were in attendance at our group last night, both of whom had weight loss surgery several years ago, maintained their amazing weight loss for awhile, and then fell into the "eating because of psychological hunger" trap and had begun gaining weight again. I am studying and learning as much as I can now, as well as getting all the positive feedback I can. I will make this work - I risked my life to do it, and I'm not going to mess it up!

Fifty pounds!

Two days ago (Saturday, April 9th) marked 30 days since my surgery. All last week I kept inching closer to that 50-pound loss mark that would put me at 30 pounds lost in the first 30 days after surgery (remember that I lost 20 pounds before surgery). I thought 30 pounds in 30 days would be pretty fantastic. :) I thought about doing a "last chance workout" on Friday, but spent the day at home with my sweetheart instead. Saturday morning I stepped on the scale and was still one pound above that 50-pound mark. Hey, I was really close. Sunday, my weight was still the same, but this morning - bingo! I had dropped a pound and a half!

I have lost over 50 pounds!!!

And guess what? Only 13.5 pounds to go till I am halfway to my goal weight!

Eating out

The other night, Jack and I went to dinner and a movie with friends. Not looking for anything fancy, they had asked ahead of time if Panda Express was okay. Since this would be my first time eating out, I knew I had to plan ahead. After choosing the day before what I would take and eat cold (tuna and cottage cheese) while everyone else ate restaurant food, I decided to check Panda's website to see if they listed nutrition information for the food they served. I was pleasantly surprised to discover 3 dishes with quite low calorie, carb, and sugar counts. Two were my favorites that I almost always ordered when going there - Mushroom Chicken and Beef and Broccoli (the third was String Bean Chicken). I also realized that they also sold butterflied, breaded, and deep-fried shrimp, which I love. So I talked with Jack, and he agreed to get the Mushroom Chicken, Beef and Broccoli, and Fried Shrimp along with his side of chow mein noodles and share with me what I could eat. I took along a plastic knife, a little spoon, and a 2-ounce measure, peeled the breading off two shrimp, and cut up the shrimp and enough beef and chicken to equal 3-1/2 ounces. Then cut up zucchini and mushrooms to fill the other 1/2 ounce and dumped it all together on a little plate. Yummy! It was a perfect fit with what I am supposed to be eating, and it tasted heavenly!

Inches, inches, inches....

Yesterday was measurement day. This last week I lost more than 8 inches again. :D Since I started measuring three weeks ago, I have lost 4-1/2 inches from my belly alone. Jack has started calling me "incredible shrinking woman." Last night as I pulled a nightgown out of the drawer, I noticed denim down under the nightgown pile. I checked to see what was there, and found a pair of jeans and a pair of denim capris that just exactly fit! I remember wearing them for a very short time a couple of years ago and quickly growing out of them. Underneath the jeans was another pair of pants that I have shrunk right out of without getting a chance to wear them. That prompted me to try on a few other things that were in the closet. Oops, found a sweater that I didn't get to wear before it was too big, but also found a couple of sweaters that were too small that are now just right. Guess I better find time to go through the rest of the closet and all my drawers!

It starts with a "one"!!!

I passed a major milestone today! My weight has been dropping closer and closer to that 200 pound mark. Yesterday I was right exactly at 200 pounds. As I prepared to step on the scale this morning, I realized that I was holding my breath and hoping against hope that I would have dropped another pound. I looked down waiting for the number to appear in the LED window, and then watched it finally settle in. One hundred ninety-seven point five pounds! YES!!!

Smells like Spring!

Yesterday, the first day of April, was warm and sunny with beautiful, bright blue skies. Shortly after I got up, I looked out my kitchen window, and what did I see? Popcorn popping on my apricot tree!! The blossoms are opening a bit later than usual this year, but they were definitely there by mid-morning, with more popping out all day long. As I went for my walk today, it was still warm, although the sky was filling with clouds and the wind was more than a breeze. (By the way, I love walking without a sweater!) As I walked, it was more and more obvious that Spring is really here. Not only is our apricot tree now full of blossoms, but all the neighborhood forsythia bushes are beginning to show their bright yellow blossoms, the globe willow trees all have beautiful yellow-green domes, and daffodils are everywhere, standing straight and full and proud. As I walked, the wind brought all the smells of springtime - freshly turned earth, newly cut grass, garden fertilizer, and that undefinable freshness that is new growth. What a beautiful neighborhood I have to walk in!!!

Looking like sunshine

Today was my first follow-up visit with my surgeon. I was really looking forward to this, and was full of energy this morning. After breakfast I went for my usual walk and ended up walking a full 20 minutes instead of the 15 I was planning. It really felt good. When I got to the doctor's office this afternoon the receptionist handed me a follow-up form to fill out, and it felt great to be able to report that I had been eating only the things I was supposed to eat in the amounts I was supposed to have. I could also report that I had been having no nausea or vomiting or stomach pains at all. Then I went in for the weigh-in. For the first time in a long time I was excited to step on the scale in a doctor's office! And what do you know? I was down 16 pounds since the morning of surgery 20 days ago! Then I went to wait for the doctor. He walked in with the sheet I had filled out in his hand and a big smile on his face, saying, "Looks like you are doing great - how do you feel?"

When I replied, with a big smile of my own, that I felt great, he said, "You really do look great. You look like sunshine!" He couldn't have said anything to make me happier!!! After talking to me for a bit and answering some questions, he checked out my little laparoscopic incisions and said I was doing terrific. I got clearance to go to the pool and do any exercises I want to do.

By the way, when I asked Dr. M how they normally count the weight loss, he said, "Oh we count from your highest weight to what you are now. We want to make sure you get credit for everything you have lost." So that is how I am going to report it here. Not just from date of surgery, but from my highest point last fall. And that means my total weight loss to date is - drum roll, please - 39 pounds!!!

Hooray for me!!!

Changes

Sunday - two days ago - I went to church for the first time since surgery 2-1/2 weeks earlier. I hadn't worn anything but pants and shirts and nightgowns for awhile, so I wanted to look extra nice and feel dressed up. I chose my favorite skirt and one of my favorite tops and began to dress. I put on the skirt and it almost fell off! Then I put on the top and it simply hung from my shoulders. I couldn't believe it!!! I had filled out this same outfit when I last wore it just over a month ago. Yes I had lost 13-1/2 pounds since the morning of my surgery, but about 20 pounds since I last wore this particular skirt and blouse. The difference in the fit prompted me to take a good look in the mirror. This is what I saw: The planes of my face are taking a more defined shape, my neck is thinner, my shoulders and the back of my neck are not so rounded, by belly is quite a bit less round, my upper arms are a bit smaller, and the top part of my chest is narrower.

Then, when I sat in the car and fastened my seat belt, I exclaimed in amazement, "I have a lap!!!" It has been so long since I had more than three or four inches of leg beyond my belly (I have short legs - remember?)! And Sunday, there were 6 or 7 inches showing. Woo-hoo!!! I could actually fold my hands together and put them in my lap instead of on top of my belly. I could rest my scriptures in my lap instead of on top of my belly. And the comments I got!!! So many people gave me that semi-puzzled look and said, "You really look great today."

When I got home, I got out the tape measure and took all the measurements to compare to the week before. I had lost more than 8 inches in just one week, and 2 of those inches were off my belly!!! I guess it is time to go through the closet and drawers and clothes boxes and pull out clothes in the next couple of sizes down. Wearing my own old clothes is going to be such fun!

Snow - or not....

This morning I took my walk in snow - big, wet, puffy flakes coming down from the sky. I took Joanna to work at 11:30, then parked the car and walked around the sidewalks of The District (walking next to the buildings was a bit of protection from the snow). I walked right past Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, Marble Slab Creamery, and the Red Robin, and was not bothered at all by the sight or smell of food and treats. I think I will walk there more often; it's a nice change.

This evening, the sun is shining again with not a cloud in the sky, and I am ready to walk again through the neighborhood before the sun goes down. Utah is great in the Spring - you never know what to expect!

Singin' In the Rain

Today, I took my walk in the rain. It was a bit chilly, but I went a little bit further - out five minutes, then back home. It was fun, and yes, I did sing as I walked. ;)

I also got out the Wii Fit and tried it for about 30 minutes. I didn't do anything really strenuous, just deep breathing and an easy yoga pose to warm up, then a couple of balance things and the basic step aerobics. Ended with another yoga pose and more deep breathing. It kind of wiped me out for a bit afterwards, but felt good while I was doing it.

Walkin' In the Sunshine

We have had such beautiful days yesterday and today! The breeze has been a bit nippy, but the sun has been bright and shining as I walked around the short block across the street from us. The crocus are gorgeous - all purple and yellow - and the hyacinths and daffodils are opening up. I even had a great conversation with a robin who was keeping me company yesterday the whole length of my neighbor's yard. Walking felt so-o-o good. I could walk at a fairly brisk pace, too; my 1/4 mile took no more than 8 minutes, with no hurting knees or hips and no shortness of breath. I am loving this!!!

Class tonight

The surgical group my surgeon is a part of was one of the pioneering practices in weight loss surgeries. It is all they do. One thing they have come to be really big on is education, both before and after surgery. I was required to attend three different classes about the procedure - pros and cons and what to expect - before one of their doctors would even perform the operation. A follow-up that is held at their center, and which they strongly recommend during the first month or two, is a group class with a licensed clinical social worker. The therapist who works with them had gastric bypass surgery herself almost six years ago and devotes part of her practice to helping those who have also had (or are planning to have) weight loss surgery.

There were five of us there at her class tonight (with our support people in tow). Three of us had the surgery a month or less ago. I very much enjoyed hearing what the therapist had to say about recognizing the things that would be "hazards" to reaching our weight loss goals and learning the best way for us to deal with the hazards. I also enjoyed the various comments made by others in attendance. Know what I gleaned from the whole thing? No one but you can be responsible for your success or failure on this journey, because you, and you alone, determine what your attitude is and what it will be. No matter what anyone else says or does or puts in front of you, the attitude you choose to take will determine what you will or will not do. I was reminded of something I heard someone say in a support group meeting back in November that struck a chord with me enough that I wrote it down.

It may be hard, but I risked my life to do this,

and I'm not going to mess it up.

I'm going to print that on card stock and hang it on my wall. Attitude is everything.

Real food - Yay!!!

Tonight (well, Sunday night - I just noticed it is after midnight) I actually ate something that resembled a "real" meal! How does this sound? Refried beans, cottage cheese and salsa, anyone? Of course the amounts were miniscule - 2 Tblsp beans, 1-1/2 Tblsp cottage cheese, and 1/2 Tblsp salsa - but it sure was tasty! Actually, I had scrambled eggs with cheese and salsa for breakfast the other morning. That was good too. Other than that, my most recent meals have been yogurt, split pea with ham soup, and bean with bacon soup. Not bad at all!

Did I mention that when I put actual clothes on today (not just nightgown and robe), my pants were actually loose?!! Not around the waist - I'm still pretty sore and puffy across my belly - but I could gather up a whole fistful of fabric on each side seam just below my belly. Haven't done that in awhile with these pants!!!

Blood sugar

Down two pounds again this morning - I'm at 208.5! Woo-hoo!!

One of the things that happens with the gastric bypass surgery (that doesn't happen with lap band surgery) is that the food you eat actually bypasses the duodenum and upper intestine where hormones are normally released that stimulate the pancreas to produce excess insulin. This suggests that type II diabetes could possibly be completely eradicated. That sounded like a pretty good deal to me. Upon release from the hospital, my doctor's instructions included not taking either of my diabetic meds (glimeperide and metphormine) and taking blood sugar readings 2 0r 3 times per day. Okay, I could do that. Four pills less per day sounded pretty good.

I really wasn't sure what would happen. My sugar levels lately - okay, for the past year - have been not horrible, but much higher than they should be - even with diabetes. They almost never dropped below 120, and usually averaged 140-160. Normal levels for a non-diabetic person are 70-120. Since I got home from the hospital, my sugar level has ranged from 82-115.

Can you see me smiling?

A Little Background

I decided that exploring a bit of what led up to my decision for this surgery would be in order. So here goes....

I am and always have been, a somewhat vertically challenged person. In all my elementary school class group photos, I am easy to find - always the person on the far left end of the front row. Whenever we had to line up by height for anything (P.E. games, choir standing position, anything symmetrical), I was always at very end of the short side. You get the picture. All the way through my childhood to my early-mid-30's, I had the body build to match. I was a teeny-tiny, itty-bitty person. When I got married at age 21, I was 4'11-1/2" tall, weighed 96 pounds, and had a 21" waist. At age 34, I weighed 102 pounds. I also had 6 children ages 4-1/2 through 12. I was, at that time, a college return student finishing up my degree, and at one point that spring, heard two middle school students walking down the hall behind me (I was doing a practice teaching assignment) wondering if I was a new student. I couldn't imagine ever being anything else but tiny.

Then the impossible happened. A few weeks before my 35th birthday, I noticed that my clothes were getting tighter. I started watching what I ate more carefully, cutting out cookies and chips (my two absolutely most favorite snacks). I was already getting lots of exercise walking all over campus (still a college student) during the morning and keeping up with the house and the kids all afternoon and evening. Nothing worked - I just kept gaining weight. About 3 months after my 35th birthday, I went to the doctor and confirmed new suspicions. Yes, I was expecting another baby, and was about two months along. I also weighed in the upper-120's. Considering that I had never weighed as much as 140 in any of my previous 6 pregnancies, this was, to me, a high starting weight.

I kept busy during my pregnancy with kids (now ages 6 through 13-1/2), house, student teaching, voice lessons - the usual - and gained weight at a fairly normal pregnancy pace. The day I went into the hospital to deliver, I had gained 22 pounds since my first office visit. I had reached 150 pounds - more than I had ever weighed in my life. I told myself that I would drop the 25 pounds of pregnancy weight within the first month, just as I had done before, but it didn't happen. For more than a year, I watched what I ate and walked every day; keeping myself healthy, I'm sure, but not losing weight. Then our family became acquainted with TaeKwonDo.

I began attending 5-7 workouts each week - 3-5 during the day while the kids were at school and at least 2 evening classes with the family. Our instructor once told us we were burning 600-800 calories per class. With my 1200-1500 daily caloric intake, I should have been losing weight like crazy. Within the first 3 or 4 months, I dropped to 135 pounds and could go no lower. After nearly 2 years of TaeKwonDo, we moved to a new place - a new state - where the TKD opportunity was no longer an option for me. I began gaining more weight. I tried, from time to time, to limit my calories and became quite adept at estimating calorie counts. I would lose a few pounds, but then they would come back on and bring a few of their friends with them.

Shortly before my 43rd birthday, my husband gave me gift - a gallon jug filled with cash. It was the amount of a project bonus he had received at work, and he told me to do whatever I wanted with it. I decided to use it on Weight Watchers. I started at 168 pounds. In 10 months, I lost 50 pounds - under 120 for the first time in 9 years. I quickly settled in at 122-125 pounds, which I was happy to accept. I looked good and felt good for the first time in a long time. I maintained this weight range for about 3 years before the weight started creeping on again. I used everything I had learned in WW and started a walking regimen again, but to no avail - I just kept gaining.

By my 51st birthday, I had reached 200 pounds for the first time. That summer, Jack was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. This brought about changes for both of us. One of the biggest changes was our introduction to the Atkins diet. Jack's doctor told Jack he wanted him to follow the Atkins plan, so we did it together. This was at a time when "Atkins" was the equivalent of a dirty word in nutritionist circles, but it sure worked for us. In nine months, I lost 63 pounds, and was down to 142. Then I went into the hospital for some minor surgery. The hospitals at that time were not into providing low-carb meal plans, and would not give me diabetic meals because I had not been diagnosed with diabetes. So, I ate my carbs. When I got home, wonderful Relief Society sisters provided wonderful meals for me and my family with lots of bread and potatoes. *sigh* I had been sabotaged and I was hooked on carbs again, even though I tried to eat them sparingly.

Jack maintained his weight loss much better than I did. The pounds, and even more of their friends, slowly came back. Within 4 years (just before my 55th birthday) I was up to weighing over 220 pounds. I tried Atkins again and lost about 20 pounds, but the weight started coming back on even as I ate no sugar, bread, rice, pasta, or potatoes. Soon the weight was back, and I thought, "Why even try?" A year or so later, I tried going back to Weight Watchers. I lost 11 whole pounds before I started gaining it back, even as I counted points and ate only my correct totals each day. After a few months, I stopped going and stopped trying. This pattern continued - trying various new eating and exercising plans, even joining a gym and doing regular workouts - with the same results. Some weight loss (up to 20 pounds - not even noticeable at my height and weight) followed by the return of the weight plus a few more pounds, till everything came to a head near the end of the summer of 2007 when I was 59 years old.

I had started taking medication for high blood pressure about a year-and-a-half earlier, and about that same time, my cholesterol started rising, and I started having problems with my knees. That summer (July 2007), I traveled to Chicago and Wisconsin to visit with friends and my son Jack's family. By the time I got home, I could hardly walk, and I felt horrible. I went to my doctor for a general physical. I weighed 245 pounds. I broke down in his office and explained all I had gone through to try to lose weight. He repeated his standard line of "with your metabolism, the only thing that will help is eating half as much and exercising 3 times more than is recommended." I asked about my high cholesterol and was told that he could put me on medication, but if I would do as he suggested to lose weight, the problem would take care of itself. I asked about weight loss surgery and was told, "that's not going to help." I told him that if he couldn't help me, I wanted him to send me to a doctor who could. I left his office with a referral to an orthopedic surgeon for my knees, and an endocrinologist for everything else.

In September 2007, my world came crashing down. After x-rays, scans, and multiple blood tests, I was told by the orthopedic surgeon that I had no cartilage left in either knee, and would need total knee replacements of both knees. I was also told by the endocrinologist that I had extreme insulin resistant Type II diabetes (my insulin levels were 90% higher than normal), which had caused metabolic syndrome (my whole metabolic system was totally out of whack) and the out-of-control cholesterol and triglyceride levels. This excess insulin had also been the cause of my inability to maintain weight loss and to regain more than I lost with each try. These yo-yo weight losses and gains had resulted in my having fatty liver disease as well - my liver was loaded with fat cells, and had become enlarged, yielding higher than normal liver enzyme output. The only thing that could possibly help it would be supervised weight loss, and medication to try to control the excess insulin.

I visited with a dietitian, and we determined that the South Beach eating guide would be the best and healthiest plan for me to follow. I started carefully following the South Beach plan and, after a couple of months, had my first knee replacement, followed 7 weeks later by the second knee replacement. After months of physical therapy, I was ready for another gym membership where I started daily "water-walking." I paid more attention to South Beach eating, and by the end of 2008, I had lost 30 pounds. It started coming back again (what a surprise - not!) the next Spring, and unexpectedly, my left knee started "clicking" and feeling uncomfortable. In the summer of 2009, I had to have it totally replaced again. Talk about a set-back!

I was very discouraged, and kept gaining weight. By the summer of 2010, I weighed 242 pounds - nearly 2-1/2 times what I had weighed when I got married. I felt desperate, and brought up weight loss surgery with my endocrinologist. Imagine my surprise when he said "Do it!", told me he had many diabetic patients who had been successful with gastric bypass, and gave me a referral to a surgical group specializing in that very thing. He told me I needed to attend one of their monthly explanation seminars and go from there.

Jack went with me to the seminar in August. I was very emotional and cried through most of it, but it just felt right. It took me a month to be certain that I really wanted to do this, and I set up my first surgical consultation for the end of September. After talking with Dr. M., I was told that with a BMI of 50 (243 pounds), and a high number of "co-morbidities" (diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol/triglycerides, sleep apnea, asthma, arthritis, fatty liver disease), surgery would be quickly approved by my insurance company, and we could very likely schedule surgery before the middle of November. Before the end of October I discovered that, because nothing about this was going to be easy, the insurance company didn't "quickly approve" anything. They set up a series of hoops that I would need to jump through first.

I got my required psych evaluation taken care of right away, and even got the three requisite visits with a psychologist in before Thanksgiving, but it took a couple of months to get my other doctors moving on specific letters they needed to write. Everything was finally gathered up, sent to the surgeon's office, and faxed to the insurance company by the middle of January 2011. The "approved" reply came back on the 10th of February, and we scheduled a final consultation with the surgeon on February 17th, and surgery on March 9th. When I weighed in on the 17th, I had dropped to 234 pounds. I am really not sure what triggered that, but it was a nice start.

Beginning February 23rd, I started my 1000-calorie-per-day, pre-surgery diet. I was supposed to eat nothing but protein and vegetables during those two weeks, to rid my body of the carbs/sugars that it craved. If I could do that, I wouldn't have to struggle with those cravings while I was dealing with the shock to my system that this surgery would be. When I went to the doctor for my final pre-surgery class two days before surgery, I weighed 224.5 pounds. The morning of my surgery, I checked into the hospital weighing 223. I had my surgery (laparocsopically) Wednesday morning, and came home Thursday night - very sore, but not at all hungry. I checked my weight, and found that I weighed 227.5, from all the fluids they had been pumping into my veins for two days. By Friday night, I was at 225, by Saturday morning, 223. Sunday was 220, Monday was 217, and Tuesday (the giggling day) I weighed 214 pounds. On Wednesday morning, one week after my surgery, I was 212 pounds - down 11 pounds from the Wednesday before.

I think I am in for an exciting downward weight rush. I need to find a ticker to keep track of it here. I also need to figure out the picture-adding thing here so I can show what has been, as well as things to come. If you made your way through all of this, thank you for reading what got me here. I hope you keep joining me through the rest of my journey.

Starting a new blog

Last week I had gastric bypass surgery. I was well educated on how it would happen, what I would be eating (or not eating), how I would be exercising, and how my life might change. I had toyed with the idea of starting a new blog to track the changes.

I had no idea!!!

I have felt amazing! I have no hunger, but have been eating my 2 ounces of liquid/semi-liquid foods at regular "mealtimes" and have been keeping well hydrated the rest of the day. When I stepped on the scale this morning, I weighed 4-1/2 pounds less than I did the morning of my surgery and 3 pounds less than yesterday. I couldn't stop giggling for more than an hour, and I knew I really did have to start a blog.

The next question was what to name this blog. Several things came to mind, mostly relating to new beginnings and starting over. My husband Jack came up with what he was sure was a winner "This too shall gastric bypass" - umm-mm, no. Definitely not. Then the thought came "It's A Brand New Day!" Perfect!

It is me, and I am ready for the changes to come!